2048

After two years.
It has been two years.

Earlier, I had some papers signed and scanned for some school purposes. It so happened that I got some free time so I decided to go to that place once again. I talked about my inner feelings. I realized I still have some time to spare. How do you spare time when you're alone? I realized I had to do something so I did it. It's when I realized that my wishes were heard. You know that feeling? I feel blessed in this place. I looked back and chatted a little about how I only ask about some of these things before.

Oh, I just felt light that moment. It has been two years since I went to one of my favorite nooks.

Thoughts Update: Going Back to Basics

I'd always look for places  where I could put my thoughts on. Be it on an old piece of paper, sticky notes, a treasured notebook, Tumblr, phone drafts, sketchpads - it's because I've always wanted to save them so if one day I feel I'm lost I can go back and rediscover how I think or who I was before.

I also like to scatter down my thoughts. I don't like compiling it to a huge file. I like the little pain and mystery of arranging them when I found them out already. It also gives me a feeling of myself getting into far, different places. I am connected with my thoughts and wherever they wander, I am with them.

Accounting

Naisip ko na naman bigla.

"What if may naghihintay na surprise sya para sayo nung gabing yun?" sabi ng instincts ko.

Naisip ko lang.

"Imposible. Kupal nga diba?" bumoboses na pagkakasabi naman ng puso ko.

Bumoboses na pagkakasabi ng puso kong ubod ng tigas. Puso kong sobrang namanhid.

Alam kong hindi sapat ang mga dahilang ito para mapatunayan yung ipinaglalaban ko. Pero kung sa bagay, at kung paulit-ulit na babasahin yung convo na yun, for sure may sense tong mga to:

1. Hindi sya nagpost sa Timeline mo ng "Happy Birthday Chelay!" Wala kang ineexpect kasi wala ka naman talagang pakealam sa kanya. Pero nagmessage naman sya sayo. Di ko alam kung tama ba na mas personal though thru FB pa rin yung bati, at least PM kesa naman sa wala.
2. Inaya ka nya kumain eh.

Tinanggihan mo naman.
Inaya ka pa rin.
Tumanggi ka ulit.
Inaya ka ulit. Kahit daw bukas na lang.
Sabi mo ayaw mo.
Pero sinabi mo din "Bahala na."
Nagbatuhan na lang kami ng "Hehe."

Tangina, Chelay. Ang bobo mo. 

3. Actually nagtanong naman siya, eh. Kaso kupal nga lang kasi sa Facebook pa. Kung sa bagay di naman kayo nagkakasama kaya malamang doon nga. At saka siguro wala syang balls para itanong ng personal.

4. Sinabi mo kasi na syempre wala syang pag-asa kasi babae yung type mo. Dinagdagan mo pa ng kadiri yung ganon at dahil bakla sya.

Kahit sya na yung may pinakamagandang hugis ng katawan na nakita ko. 

At dahil dyan sinabi na lang nya na "Grabe ka naman. :("

Pinagtawanan mo pa kasi yung sinabi nya, Chelay. 

Lumipas ang ilang araw, saka ko lang narealize. Posibleng seryoso nga sya sa mga sinabi nya. Ngunit huli na ang lahat dahil ibinato na nya ang tanong sa isang babaeng hindi ko inaasahang magugustuhan nya. (Di ko naman kasi kilala eh haha). 

Hanggang ngayon naiiwan pa rin yung ilang mga tanong na paulit ulit na bumabalik sa isip ko.

"Totoo ba talaga yung mga sinabi mo?"

"Bakit mo sinabi yun kung hindi totoo?"

"Paano kung sinakyan ko yung joke, makakatakas ka pa ba sa mga tanong mo?"

"Bakit dun ka nagtanong?"

"Bakit di ka nagtry ulit?

"Bakit at paano sya na lang yung pinili mo?"

Punong puno ng bakit yung utak ko. Punong puno ng mga tanong na kailan ma'y di ko na maitatanong pa. Sirang friendship. Bagong buhay. Mga naiwang tanong na pawang siya lang din ang makakasagot. Yun pa ay kung sasabihin nya ang totoo. Pero dahil kupal nga sya, syempre tatanggi yun. Di mo naman ilalaban ang pride mo ng dahil lang naman sa mga tanong na yun.

Sa huli eto na lang nasabi sa narealize ko. 

"Ahh kaya pala. Kaya pala ganon sya sakin dati."

Selling: Quezon's Yema Cake

 

YEMA CAKE *drools

This heavenly piece from Quezon Province is becoming more famous nowadays. Who wouldn't love this "nakakatakam at nakakapaglaway" cake? And because I wanted my friends and blockmates in UST to have a taste of this fluffy, fresh and rich cake, I decided to bring them some!! They really liked it I got got really good reviews about it, with a lot of unexpected people from different connections demanding and asking if it's still available. I got really flattered because they went to meet me up at UST just to get the cake and enjoyed & loved its goodness!! Very affordable and timely to beat the summer heat!!

May you want to have a taste of this fine delicacy, you can message me at Tumblr, Facebook and even Instagram!! :)